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Anger is an emotion that we have all felt and expressed at some point of our lives. It not limited to children or any other specific group of people. It belongs to our every day life on any level of human functioning.
We deal with it in very unique ways. In the traffic you may find its example in drivers that scream and beep at anyone who is driving too slow, too fast, or simply in a way that is intolerable to them. |
Anger can affect what we say or do before we can even recognize the feeling. If you are one of those people who feel angry all the time, the chances are that you have become so used to feeling the anger, that you may not notice it any more. And when not thinking about it, your behavior gets to be influenced by this feeling.
When looking for signs of anger in others, think of the different ways in which anger can be displayed.
Do you know a person who feels angry most of the time? If their anger seems to be ever-persisting, such person became so used to the feeling of anger so well that she may not even notice it any more. And what she doesn’t notice, she cannot recognize as the key factor that is influencing what she says long before the actual anger escalates.
Have you ever wondered how an intelligent and otherwise healthy person keeps forgetting what you have agreed on? She continues tailoring the agreed plans according to her needs until you burst out in anger or get otherwise upset thinking and rethinking what you might have done or understood wrong?
Can you recognize anyone who displays anger in this way? It comes out in sarcasm, people behaving or talking in a mean way, spreading negative gossip, or even by simply being apathetic.
Passive anger can be found when a person participates in self-defeating behavior such as alienating friends and family, or playing sick to skip work when they are actually well, when they perform poorly at work and become socially inactive. Those who are living such anger are rarely aware of it, hence it may become obvious to you and other observers much faster.
Anger can rise out of stress and overwhelming situations. We notice how one gets angry when life becomes too stressful and too many continuing expectations are put on him.
We manifest judgmental anger when we show feelings of resentment towards another person or group with regards to their appearance or behaviors. What is happening here is that we actually compare our values, beliefs and expectations. When match isn’t found, an angry person easily judges the other. He himself is at no fault.
People who get aggressive when angry are usually unaware of what is going on within them until they overreact. The true root of their rage is not detected. The road straight forward is to find a scapegoat. Dealing with exploration takes more time, awareness and dedication. Aggressive anger is not constantly present, but when it rises, it can cause physical and mental damage in others, as well as in destruction of property.
The good thing about anger is that we can train ourselves and commit to understanding our reaction to various triggers. The causes of anger are many and mostly found in our environment. They can be stress, financial struggle, abuse, social isolation, overwhelming pressure on your time and energy. There are also internal causes found in addictions, sleep deprivation, mental difficulties, etc.
Our anger is a sign for a need of change. Be it in yourself or in your environment. Your dedication is needed to detect what it is and to work through it.
If you let your anger linger, it may lead you to alienation and feelings of guilt. And it can lead you further to depression. Finding support in getting you out of there is always a good thing.
If you know an angry person my suggestion is to talk about their impact on on others and themselves once they are in a state of calm. A suggestion doesn’t hurt.
The decision for change has to come always from the one who has adopted anger, but you can be the influencer of change. For the benefit of their whole environment and themselves.